The F-Word

8 months ago I was fat.  Very fat.  354 pounds fat.  Like eat half a pizza and pint of Ben & Jerry’s fat.  Fattest person in the room fat.  Man boobs fat.  Way too much junk in the trunk fat!

Size 54 jeans, 4XL shirt and an old parachute with holes in it for underwear.

But I had the hardest time saying that I was fat.  I would say I was heavy, or overweight, but I avoided saying I was fat.  I couldn’t bring myself to say the F-Word.

8 months ago with my 40th birthday looming in the distance, I decided to face the facts and do something about it. I took control of my destiny and made the changes necessary in my life, got on an incredible program and to date have lost 122 pounds!

I feel like a new man!  There are a number of significant things I can do now that I couldn’t do before.  So without further ado I present to you my list of victories.

  1. I can climb.

I can run up stairs.  I can climb a ladder with ease.  I even did a little mountain climbing. I don’t have to choose the route that avoids steps, or use the elevators and escalators to go up. But more significantly I am able to climb higher spiritually.  Whether I want to admit it or not, the extra weight was holding me back on a spiritual level.  You cant be disciplined and growing in one area of your life if you are completely stagnant and undisciplined in another area.  Since dropping the weight I have seen my spiritual life grow and become healthier.

2. I can rest.

I am sleeping great! No more snoring.  So that means my wife sleeps better too.  I would wake myself up sometimes with the thunderous roar of my snores. I can roll over without reaching the other side of the bed.  I sleep so well that I don’t need a mid day nap. Furthermore I feel I am getting better emotional and mental rest.  I’m not consumed with the insecurities of my weight and able to focus my attention of higher and more important things.

3. I can run.

At 354 running wasn’t an option.  My knees couldn’t handle it.  My back either.  If I lived where bears lived, I would have been Yogi’s dinner for sure. Now look, I don’t like running.  If you see me running you might want to start running too because something is chasing us!  But the point is if I want to, I can.  I can channel my inner Forrset Gump and put on my running shoes.  I can hustle to wherever I want to go.  This also apply’s to my dreams and goals.  I have less baggage to hold me back so I can chase after the things that are most important to me.

4. I can play.

My kids are my life, and playing with them is super important to me. I hated when my kids would ask me to jump on the trampoline but I couldn’t because of the weight restrictions.  Or if they wanted me to go on a roller coaster with them I couldn’t because I couldn’t due to the restraints not fitting.  Even playing the Nintendo with the kids is easier now, and I can continue to crush them at Wii bowling.  Also I can hang with my friends.  We can go hiking, play basketball, or whatever else we want.

5. I can dress.

When you’re fat your clothing options are limited.  You either have to shop at Walmart or the fat guy store.  Clothes from the fat guy section suck.  Jeans with elastic, shirts that say Big Dog on them, or yards of ugly fabric turned into something even uglier.  And nothing is ever on sale.  If it is on sale it is definitely not in style!  Now I can shop off the rack at any store I want.  I can look exactly the way I want to. Most importantly I can feel good about how I present myself.  I can tuck my shirt in and dress for the level of success that I am aiming for.

6. I can sit without sweating.

When you’re wearing a fat jacket you are always hot.  In an air conditioned room your hot. Whether you’re walking, talking or breathing you are hot.  When you’re hot and sweating, you become quite self conscious. You are always thinking about how you look and feel. I am so much more comfortable in my own skin.  It also helps me not sweat over my insecurities.  I don’t feel like the fat guy in the room, and I can engage on a deeper level to whats going on around me.

7. I can live without fear.

In the back of your mind when you are fat is how it can be affecting your health.  Will I have a heart attack?  Could I have a stroke?  Will I become diabetic?  The awareness of your mortality looms over you because you have higher risk factors.  Sure anyone can die at any time, but I have taken a bunch of bullets out of the gun so to speak.  I don’t have to make decisions for my life subject to my weight. I don’t have to fear getting on an airplane and wondering if the seat belt will fit.  I don’t have to fear if a plastic chair is strong enough to hold me (I had one collapse on me…that really sucked).  I don’t have to fear taking my shirt off at the pool.  Life without those fears is much better.

8. I can help others.

With 2/3 of America overweight or obese there are obviously a lot of people who need to rediscover their health.  And it excites me to be able to show them it is possible.  You can be healthy, you can lose weight, it is possible.  If I can do it, anyone can do it!

9. I can relate.

People carry all kinds of weight.  Obviously physical weight, but also all the other burdens we carry too.  I know the stress and pressure of being weighed down.  I know how hard it is to keep going with all that in your life.  I feel your pain.  But I also know what it feels like to be free of it.  Trust me, its worth the effort it takes to drop it!

10. I can be more intimate.

Get ready for TMI.  The sex is better. Way better! You don’t have a bunch of extra weight in the way and you don’t have to take a time out to catch your breath.  But what I really love is that I can hug my wife and we can get our arms all the way around each other.  We can holds hands and our hands just fit better.  And it’s easier to love someone when you don’t feel so bad about yourself.  This apply’s to all relationships.  Being fat creates a fear of intimacy with others.  You tend to keep your distance because you’re always thinking about how others are viewing you.  When you are focused on yourself it frees you to focus on someone else.

I’m not a better person now because I am lighter.  But I certainly fell better about the person I am. How you feel about yourself affects how you live your life.  Fat fights you.  It fights you to keep you limited and keep you from doing all you are meant to do.  So I say fight your fat.  Break out of your prison and get free!

Start today.

When I turned 39 I said to myself I didn’t want to be fat and 40.  So I did something about it.  In just a few weeks I will cross the date line from my 30’s to my 40’s and I’m so excited to be a hundy plus lighter.  What if you started today?  Where could you be in a year?IMG_4263  Its exciting to imagine!


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